So this is what happens after the rain clouds....funny

It thundered like crazy early this morning (by early I mean at like...1:30am), which I usually tend to admire, really got me down. Which was unexpected. It was even one of those really loud, sky-brightening type storms that makes your heart kinda heave a little bit.

I guess it just reminded a lot of where I was at the end of my sophomore year. Not to get all nitty grity....but basically I was just really unsure of what I was doing (which rarely happens...okay sometimes happens), and who I was and where I fit in. So I guess that's why I spent so much of my time working and essentially hiding from people, and bouncing from project to project, thinking that if I submerged myself in activisms of all sorts, academics and organizations, I'd find something that would make me feel...whole for lack of a better term. Like somehow I'd be able to just feel like I meant something somewhere.

Instead, I just ended up overworked, overstressed, overstretched and overused. I started forgetting what my politics were, like what I wanted and needed to be doing for my communities, started forgetting that I had something important to say, and started to forget what it felt like to be happy and satisfied with something I did. And most of all, I stopped writing. Anything and everything.

There are days when I sometimes forget where I fit in, and what I'm trying to say, and there are days where I feel like I was put together in the "right" way. And then there are days like today, where I have to spend some time remembering what everything is about. And just go slow.