waking up in the wrong city

so it's been about a month since my last post.  i've been home for about two and a half weeks, and still feel like i haven't quite settled. i guess the word for it is in transit. i guess that may also explain why writing hasn't quite appealed to me in the last couple of weeks. for me, and hopefully others, writing has been a way of solidifying what is. what there is to say, to feel, to experience, or prevent. and so, as backwards as it is, i haven't wanted to solidify anything. or force myself to relive things but to remember them instead. it keeps hitting me that i am about to start my senior year...which is frightening but exciting. i'm ready to leave oberlin and it's chaos behind and finally just do for me. which shouldn't be conflated to me not wanted to do for a community, it is just that there are things that i feel need to be done for me in a manner best well, for me.

so quick catch up on what has been happening so far:
- i am still doing summer research, though this time i am reading caribbean fiction/fantasy writers. sounds fun right? it is...except i can't compel myself to work which is awful.
- i have been practicing on gaia recently and i missed it. i also have been doing more recording of stuff i do.