Always be Prepared for the worst...cause You will then get a lovely surprise when it is better than expected...

SO...today was the first day of classes. And I am exploding with the realization that there are some classes that I really have always wanted to take but never did because it wasn't part of my majors (African American Studies and English). For instance- Latina/os in Film and Media. A Comparative American Studies based course that discussed the representation of Latinas/os in the media and questions of identity, creativity, etc and works by other people of color are included. Exciting non?

But having written this first portion in an early mindset, I now had the self realization of something I do in particular as a defensive mechanism. In a potentially bad scenario, I always anticipate the worst to happen . That way...when the scenario does in fact unfold, I am always gently surprised that it turned out better than what I imagained. I say this having repeated the same cycle over and over again when it comes to life, friends, and etc. and I start to wonder 'now I know it isn't you...it's me this time'. Self reflections are always good...even in moments of existental "crisis". But sometimes...just sometimes...those moments of self reflections can in fact leave you at the strangest level of self consciousness.